


Nothing Else Matters

by cyncyn1110



Series: And the Song Goes on [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Sam Winchester, Angst, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 07:12:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2572823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyncyn1110/pseuds/cyncyn1110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam offers to stay but Dean rejects him so Sam tries to move on.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Else Matters

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post and I'm so nervous. Hope you guys like it.

Sam sat at the faded kitchen table, eyes down with his head in his hands. He was afraid to look up and face what he knew was Deans horrified look.   
"What are you saying Sam?"  
" I'm saying that I'll stay for you Dean, I'll stay if you want what I want"  
The noise Dean made was deep and low and full of disgust and it broke Sam in two. Despite himself he looked up to see his brothers back, hands white from gripping the sink hard, maybe in an attempt to keep from turning around and letting his fists make contact with Sam's face.   
" Sam, don't miss you're fucking bus tomorrow morning" Dean barked out then walked out of the house, probably headed to some bar to find his company for the night. Some random girl that flirted back and would get to touch what Sam could only dream about. 

He sat at the table for what seemed like an eternity before he was able to stand and grab the duffle he had ready by the door. He turned to look at the run down kitchen of the house that John had rented for a month and thought about leaving a note for him, but knew he wouldn't bother reading it. It wasn't as if he had spoken a word to Sam since he told him about Stanford anyway.   
He turned the knob, walked out into the cool night and didn't look back.  
\------------------------------------------  
Four Years Later

Dean hated the trees. They arched over the road creating a perfect canopy leaving dark places for things to hide. Never mind the fact that he was sitting in one of those spots now looking at the house in front of him like a creeper. If anyone saw him he'd surely be trying to charm the campus police in order to avoid a report and awkward questions. 

A movement in the window of what he assumed was the kitchen caught his eye. A girl with long blond curls seemed to be at the sink focused on her task. She looked a little too "girl next door "for his taste but he'd be kidding himself if he said he'd turn her down. The blonde looked up suddenly as if she could feel herself being watched and at that moment what Dean was looking for slid into view.  
Sam leaned with his back to the window next to the girl. They stood close together which unmistakably gave a sense of intimacy. Dean watched as they spoke and saw the girl smile as Sam leaned down to kiss her cheek before disappearing from sight. Dean let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.   
Sam looked better than he had that night in the kitchen. Somehow more relaxed, and Dean even saw a smile on his brothers face.   
It had been two years since Dean had laid eyes on Sam but he replayed that last night in his head when the lights were off in whatever motel he'd holed up in and there was nothing to distract him.  
Seeing that blond in the window let Dean know he made the right decision. Even though he did feel a pang of jealousy he knew his brother was better off. Dean was not sure how Sam could miss his voice shaking when he told Sam to leave or how he had to grip the sink as hard as he could to keep from turning and straddling his brother in the chair he sat in under that yellowing kitchen light. This house, this girl made it all worth it.   
Dean was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed Sam leaving the house and walking under the trees. The damn canopy and the darkness kept Sam from noticing he had a tail, but Dean couldn't help but be annoyed that Sam had let his hunter's instincts fade.   
Sam walked until he reached a cluster of shops and bars and entered a pub. Dean stayed outside but could see Sam approaching a cluster of pool tables near the back. There was a group of college guys and Sam greeted them all with a fist bump before walking over to the bar but instead of ordering an drink he walked up to a guy sitting on a bar stool and leaned in. Dean can't help but groan out loud as their lips met and the guy let his hand land on Sam's hip. If he felt jealous about the girl in the house, what he felt now was a mixture of hot envy and anger.   
Dean couldn't help but notice that if someone asked him to point out the complete opposite of himself he'd be pointing at this guy. He was lean and blonde. Fucking yellow blonde with curls! He was dressed like he was going on a picnic with his wife and 2.5 kids. Dean was even sure the guy drove a sedan, probably beige. He let out a hiss as blondie ran his hands through Sam's long hair and could almost feel the soft sensation under his fingers from years of doing the same.   
It was obvious that Sam may share a home with the girl but he shared his bed with this guy and Dean hated the guy for it.   
He watched as the happy couple approached a pool table and Sam reached for a cue. Keeping eye contact with his date the entire time. When Sam leaned in behind Blondie over the table he realized that he was teaching the idiot how to play. What kind of asshole didn't know how to play pool. It irked the shit out of Dean that his brother was using all the same moves that he himself used on any girl of the week.   
Dean had had enough. He decided to find a burger joint and catch up with Sam later. He gave his brother and "his man" one last glare and walked down the street.   
\----------------------------------  
Sam was a light sleeper. Years of his fathers training had made sure of that. He kept his eyes closed and reached over to find a warm arm. Shit either Jess couldn't sleep or someone was breaking in. He got up and crept over to Jess's door and could hear her heavy breathing. Just as he backed away he heard a creak in the living room. Sam pressed himself against the wall and waited. Just as the asshole got within reach Sam lunged forward and grabbed his shoulder. The intruder was no slack off though because he was able to knock Sam's arm away and swing at him. Luckily Sam ducked but was grabbed and swung around. This continued for a few moments before Sam was pinned to the floor and before he could move again he heard   
"Whoa, easy tiger"  
"Dean?"  
He was rewarded for his correct guess by a low chuckle that pulled at something deep inside of him.   
The light in the hallway flicked on and Sam took advantage of the distraction and pulled Deans arm down, making him hit the floor hard, but he kept his hold on Sam and Sam refused let go as well.   
"Sam?"   
Both of them jumped to their feet and looked over at Jess. Without looking he knew that Deans eyebrows had shot up and he was checking her out.   
"Uh Dean this is my best friend Jess, Jess this is Dean" he turned expecting to see that famous Dean Winchester smile which he saved for the opposite sex but saw his brothers lips closed and tight. His eyes were narrow. Sam glanced back at Jess and saw what had Dean put off.   
Charlie walked into view and Dean must have thought that he was Jess's boyfriend.   
"Charlie this is Dean."  
Sam couldn't help but notice that Dean had shifted closer to him. His shoulder touching Sam's.   
"What's going on Sam?" Charlie asked, the flare of his nose is unmistakable.   
"Oh Dean is Sam's brother!" Jess piped in helpfully. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and she hadn't taken her eyes off of Dean. It was almost as if she was seeing the Loch Ness monster after hearing all the stories about it. Charlie visibly relaxed.   
"Oh"   
After a second of uncomfortable silence Sam turned his attention to Dean  
"Dean what are you doing here?"  
" I was looking for a beer."   
"You scared the crap out of me. "  
"Well glad to see you haven't lost all of your instincts!"  
"Dean, what the hell are you doing here?"   
" Uh yeah we gotta talk"   
"You ever hear of a phone?"  
"Like you would have answered?"  
Their back and forth was interrupted by the clearing of a throat and Sam remembered that they were in the middle of his living room.  
"Sam we need to talk" Dean looked up at Jess and Charlie " it's family business"  
"No you can say whatever you want to say in front of them"  
"Sam, dads been gone for a few days"  
"So he's working overtime on a miller time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later"  
Charlie chuckled and Dean gives him a death glare.  
"No he's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days"  
"Uh yeah guys can you excuse us? We're just going to go outside."   
Sam grabbed a jacket from the coat rack and put it on. That was when he realized that he was only wearing pajama pants slung low on his hips. When he looked up at Dean he saw what could easily be mistaken as an appreciative glance as his brother looked him over. Sam shook off the thought and lead Dean outside.   
" I mean you can't just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you."  
" You're not hearing me Sammy dads missing and I need you to help me find him"  
" Yeah well Dad used to go missing all the time. He's always fine he always came back"  
"Not this long Sam, are you coming or not" Deans eyes looked into his with that soft pleading that he knew his brother couldn't resist.   
"No" Sam set his jaw in hopes that Dean would accept it.   
"Why not?"   
" Because Dean I swore I wasn't doing this anymore. No more hunting, no more chasing after you...... and dad" he nearly forgot to add John in.   
"C'mon Sam like it was that bad, we had each other. You remember what that was like?" Sam hung his head because he knew that Dean was remembering something different. He didn't remember ditching Sam for the lifeguard at the pool. Or leaving Sam in a hotel room while he got lucky with a waitress in the impala. He didn't even know that Sam would sneak after him just to watch Dean unguarded. To see his brothers lips swollen and red from kissing some random girl when Sam just wanted those lips on his. Even with all these things running through his head he knew he was going to say yes. Before Dean even played the recording of his fathers voice laced with EVP he knew.  
\------------------------------------------  
"Sam you can't miss you're interview on Monday" Jess was standing by the window as he packed his duffle.   
"I know, it will only be a couple of days. I have to go."  
Jess turned to look out of the window at Dean who was leaning against a tree lost in thought. The street light illuminating him as if he were on stage. "Please be careful."   
"Jess I've hunted my whole life, I'll be fine." Sam said with a roll of his eyes.  
"No I mean really. I remember what you were like when you got here. You've worked so hard to get him out of you're system. You can't go through that again." She had tears in her eyes and Sam crossed over to the window to hug her.  
"That's thanks to you, I'm so glad you hit on me during orientation."  
"I'm glad we made it past the two months we dated! Can you imagine if we had had sex?!" She said with a laugh.  
"Shut up! I love you ya know, you're my only family outside of the crazy one."  
"Well maybe someday Charlie will be a part too. Speaking of Charlie what did you say to him?"  
Sam's chest tightened a little with guilt at the mention of his boyfriends name.  
"I told him I had a family emergency and that I would be back Sunday night. He's ok."  
Charlie was great, he was sweet and attentive and considerate. Jess had set them up four months ago in hopes that Sam would find some happiness and he had, he just had to work hard at it. Before then Sam was stuck in a strange little cycle. Once he and Jess had determined that they were not meant to be a couple he dated girls here and there and indulged in one night stands with guys. The girls varied in type, the guys fit a profile. Brown hair, green eyes and shorter than he was. He never let it go more than one night, and he was always just as wrecked afterwards. Sam let himself look out of the window and his eyes were met dead on by Deans, before the green eyes that he pictured every night turned away.  
Jess being the mothering type packed him granola and water as well as sandwiches for the road. Sam threw his duffle in the backseat then stood next to the impala with his hands on her roof and his eyes closed. "She missed you too" Dean said breaking Sam out of his quiet greeting to the car Dean had named "Baby". "She's probably the only one" Sam muttered under his breath.  
"What was that Sammy?"  
"Nothing" Dean turned the key and James Hetfield poured out if the speakers singing "nothing else maters" His hand shot out immediately and he ejected the tape. Sam looked at him with one eyebrow raised and Dean avoided his eyes by searching through his box of cassettes. If Sam didn't know any better he would say Dean seemed embarrassed.  
\------------------------------------------  
Sam was leaning against the car with his phone to his ear when Dean walked out of the gas station with his arms full of processed food. He wondered if Sam was talking to his boy toy when Sam called out to him.  
"Hey Dean, Jess said she's glad you liked the hummus and eggplant sandwich she packed" His brother was grinning from ear to ear and it was almost worth the awful taste Dean still had in his mouth.   
"Oh yeah! It was awesome!" He said with a roll of his eyes.   
Sam hung up with Jess and slid into the impala as Dean was digging through his box of cassettes when Sam snorted. "Seriously dude you need to upgrade this car."  
"Hey don't talk about her that way!"  
Dean tried to swat Sam's hand when he reached for a cassette but grabbed it and held it for a second too long instead. He met his brothers eyes which were wide before he let go and turned his attention back to the box. He popped Led Zeppelin in and pulled out of the gas station as "Black Dog" began to play.   
\------------------------------------------   
Dean finally felt clean. The woman in white was already pushing it when she took over Baby, the bitch signed her death warrant (even if she was already dead) when she nearly ran him and his brother over with the poor impala, but he was going to make sure it hurt when he put an end to her for running him off of the bridge and into to the funky ass water which he was going to spend hours cleaning out of the car.   
As he was scrubbing a towel through his hair he could hear Sam's voice through the door. It was low, and almost seductive. Which could only mean he was talking to Blondie. Dean quietly opened the door and saw Sam laid back on the bed with his eyes closed.  
"No I'll be home tonight. Mmmm I need to get sleep so I'm fresh for the interview and we both know if you're there I won't be sleeping."   
The low chuckle he let out pulled at Dean where it shouldn't. He could feel himself hardening under the towel he had wrapped around his waist.   
Sam's hand was resting on his stomach and he was rubbing it back and forth, he could almost feel that soft cotton under his own fingers as he stood and watched.  
"That sounds nice, and you know I believe in reciprocation"   
Deans eyes moved down to the growing bulge in Sam's pants. Before he even realized he was doing it he was halfway to coming from stroking himself through the towel. He had to stop now. He shot a glance to Sam's eyes and met them. Dean sucked air through his clenched teeth in a hiss. Sam knew what he was doing and that he was the cause of it. His brother lowered his hand from where it laid on his stomach and cupped himself. Dean noticed that the bulge was much bigger now. Sam must have really grown hard when he realized Dean was watching him. His voice was still low as he whispered promises to his lover that Dean prayed he wouldn't keep.   
"I love it when you do that" Sam let a moan escape his lips as he rubbed himself through his pants, eyes lowering from Deans to his water beaded chest and stomach then finally landing in the towel where Deans hand was making long strokes.   
Dean widened his stance and leaned back against the door frame to the bathroom. The terry cloth was rough on his dick but it still did the job. He wished it was Sam's hand.   
Sam was close, Dean was there. He kept his eyes open while his body shook from his orgasm. He bit down on his lip and focused on Sam's face not wanting to miss the moment when he came.   
Just as Dean stopped vibrating Sam's back arched slightly and he groaned as he rubbed himself through his jeans coming undone for his big brother to see.   
"Uh yeah, I'm here. Sorry" Dean had forgotten that Sam was on the phone and as soon as he was reminded SHITSAMWRONG began screaming in his head. He quickly crossed the room to his duffle and took his clothes into the bathroom with him shutting the door with a thud.   
\---------------------------------------  
Sam hung up with Charlie as quickly as he could and stood to go after Dean when his brother rushed out of the bathroom fully clothed.  
"I'm gonna walk to that diner and grab some food. Want anything?" Dean refused to meet his eyes.   
"Dean..."  
" I'll just bring one of those salads you like. I'll be right back" he grabbed his wallet and was gone before Sam could even respond to him.   
He sat back down on the bed and looked over to where Dean stood just minutes before. He hadn't imagined that. All those other subtle looks and touches Sam could chalk up to him hoping for them to be more, reading his own wants in Deans actions. But this was not only him. Dean was already touching himself when Sam realized he was there. And now he was gone. Pushing what just happened back and acting as if everything was fine, the Winchester way. He could feel himself beginning to get angry, when his phone rang. He saw his brothers name flash across the screen. Fat chance he was calling to explain himself.  
"Yeah?" He did his best to put as much attitude behind it as he could  
"Dude, 5-0 take off"   
"What about you?"  
"Uh they kinda spotted me, go find dad"  
\--------------------------------------  
Case was closed. They were both in the hotel room picking up what the cops had left behind. Turned out the cops left nearly everything and didn't bother securing the room. He nearly bit his tongue clean through to keep from saying "I told you so". Sammy was not in the mood. Dean could tell by the way he was throwing things in his duffel.   
When a phone started ringing he checked his pocket only to remember that his was at the police station. It was Sam's. And the tone of his voice when he answered told Dean exactly who it was.   
"Yeah I'll be home tonight...... I know me too..."  
Now Dean was throwing things in his duffel. Sam hung up and sat on the bed. "What is your problem?"  
"Nothing, what's yours?" He zipped up his duffel and tossed it by the door.  
"Whatever Dean, fucking typical, you pitch a fit then refuse to tell me what it's about."  
" You know what Sam, I just don't get the guy, is he your boyfriend? I mean what are you doing with him?"  
" Oh hell no! If this is some homophobic bullshit you can take it somewhere else. I saw you before Dean, you got off on eavesdropping on my conversation. You knew who I was talking to."  
"Jesus Sammy, I'm not... You think I'm some kind of prude! I've been with guys before."  
That shut Sam right up.   
"I'm not asking why A guy I'm asking why THAT guy. Fucking blonde curls and Joe College...." Dean looked at Sam's face and saw his confusion. "Fuck it"  
Dean crossed the room and bent down placing his lips on Sam's. It took a second but Sam responded by opening his mouth and turned his face up to give Dean better access. His tongue slid against Deans and he groaned making Dean feel it through his entire body.   
The kiss heated up, all tongue and teeth. Sam placed his hands behind Dean's thighs and pulled until his big brother was straddling him.   
Dean felt the bulge in Sam's jeans under him and ground his hips against it, pressing his own against Sam's stomach with each movement.   
"I need to feel you" Sam growled before slipping a hand between them to unbutton Dean's pants. Deans cock came free easily, precome glistening on the tip. He reached down to undo Sam as well but couldn't get the button to comply before Sam stood with Dean still straddling him and spun them around, Dean landing on his back on the bed. Sam braced himself on one arm as he freed himself. Dean could feel Sam's weight against him and it felt like home. Sam let his hit cock slide back and forth against Deans before he gripped both in his massive hand. His fingers didn't close because neither Winchester was a slouch in the size department but it was good enough. He ran his hand up and down never taking his eyes off of Deans. Dean slipped his hand down Sam's back and grabbed his ass. Squeezing and kneading as Sam brought them both to orgasm and not stopping until he had milked every drop from each of them.   
Sam flopped over landing next to Dean as they both caught their breath.   
"I guess you're really not homophobic." Sam said with a laugh.   
He reached over and placed a hand on Deans stomach rubbing.   
Dean couldn't help it. He tensed immediately and FuckSamBad started its mantra through his head.   
Sam felt it and took it as rejection. He jumped up and stared at Dean and saw what he was thinking. He turned, grabbed his duffel and headed for the door.   
"Let's go, I need to get home"  
\------------------------------------------  
By the time Dean slid into the drivers seat the tension in the car was palpable. Sam pressed himself as far into the passenger door as he could.   
"Sam..."  
"Let's go Dean." Sam cut him off. He didn't need the talk now. He knew how things were. He had figured that out when Dean left him sitting in that kitchen. He was so stupid thinking that maybe his brother had changed his mind. Maybe he wasn't repulsed by the feelings his little brother had for him. Maybe he felt the same. But as usual Sam was in his own on this. Dean had probably talked himself into being with him by deciding it would help Sam get over his pathetic crush.   
Well fuck him.  
\------------------------------------------  
The impala pulled up in front of Sam's place, headlights illuminated the front of the building. Dean cut  
The engine and sat for a second not knowing what to say.   
"Sammy...."  
"No fuck you Dean."   
"Sam" he reached out only to have Sam flinch away.   
"You don't get to come here and fuck up my life and break my heart for the second time and have the last word. You wanna know why him? Because he's nothing like you. Every girl I dated never had my full attention and every guy looked just like you. Your eyes, your hair but it was never enough. It was never real. Because who could compete against you. And now you come and give me a taste and you fucking break me apart." He had to stop because his voice broke. He jumped out of the car, refusing to let Dean see him cry. He opened the back door and grabbed his duffel.  
"Give me a call when you find dad." He slammed the door and walked away.   
Dean sat there shocked. He had broken Sam's heart. Of all the things he could live with doing, hurting Sammy was not one of them. As he watched Sam walk away, Dean remembered going back to that old house that night four years ago and finding Sam gone for Stanford. He sat in the same chair Sam had sat in and waited. He didn't know for what. He knew his little brother wouldn't be back. When his father had come home he had only grumbled when Dean told him. Making an excuse to leave on a hunt and leave Dean to deal alone.   
As soon as the door had shut behind his father, Dean had run to the room that Sam had claimed his and threw himself on Sammy's bed. He inhaled the scent of Sam in the pillow and lost it. He cried the hardest he had ever allowed himself to. Dean stayed in Sam's bed for days. Only getting up for food and the bathroom. He finally left that house because his father had called saying he needed back- up. Before he left, Dean packed that pillow and kept it in the trunk of the impala. Only allowing himself to pull it out when he was hunting alone.   
Now sitting in front of the house Sam shared with Jess he thought about the guys Sam had mentioned. The ones that looked like him. He was angry and jealous and he never wanted Sam to be with anyone else. He never wanted Sam's heart to be broken by him again.   
Dean got out of the impala and was halfway to the door when he heard what was unmistakably Sam's voice.   
"No!"   
He ran without thinking twice. Busting the door down and running through the house until he found Sam sitting on the bed of what had to be Jess's room. There was a glow hi-lighting his face beautifully and Dean stopped for a second watching Sam's upturned face and then he followed Sam's eyes and realized that Jess was pinned to the ceiling in an all too familiar way.   
"Sam! We gotta go!"  
He grabbed Sam and shoved him through the door. When he got Sam to the lawn he started fighting to get back in. Dean had to pin him down with his body.   
"No, Dean! I have to save her."   
"No Sammy, she's gone, I'm sorry"  
"Let me go Dean! It's my fault! I have to make it right!"  
"No Sammy, I can't lose you, not again. We'll find it, whatever it is, and we'll kill it. I'll be with you. Just me and you Sammy but I can't let you go. I won't lose you again."  
Sam didn't relax but he stopped fighting.  
"Ok let me up"   
Dean hesitated enough to make sure Sam wasn't going to haul ass into the now engulfed house and stood up.   
Sam stood up and stayed close to Dean. He waited to speak to the police and firefighters. Answered all of their questions. When they finally had what they needed he turned and walked towards the impala. He rummaged in the trunk and as Dean stepped closer he realized that Sam was loading a shotgun  
"We've got work to do" he said before shutting the trunk and getting into the passenger seat.


End file.
